Friday, November 27, 2020

A New Beginning



It has been a long 11 years.  We had struggles, we were selfish, we were angry and unforgiving.  We suffered from not spending the right kind of time together and looking at what each other wasn't doing for the other. We were exhausted from running on the hamster wheel.  Nothing changing, repeating the same mistakes over and over.  That ended in July of 2018 when we separated and divorced in September of 2018. After over 30 years of marriage and 32 years together. 

It wasn't always that way.  We were the best of friends.  We loved to do the same things.  We always dreamed of traveling the country together when we retired. We loved camping, hiking, the coast, taking long naps together on Sunday's, building things together, and working on projects side by side.  There wasn't much that we couldn't get through together.  That was, until we stopped focusing on God in our marriage, and let Satan in.  He helped us seek our own satisfaction. We did nothing but find the "wrong" in each other.  Instead of Trusting God, we followed our own desires. Bill moved out July of 2018.  

May 14, 2020. A day I dreaded.  It would have been our 32nd wedding anniversary.  I sunk into a deep depression the days prior.  God kept putting on my heart to message Bill yet he was dating someone else.  I had also gone down that path shortly after we separated and it was a terrible mistake.   All this time apart, God had been working on Bill while I tried to find happiness in another person.  It failed--no one but God could make me happy.  I made so many mistakes in that first year away from Bill.  I felt empty and ashamed.   It didn't take long for me to realize what Bill and I had together.  We started talking again and tried to date in the summer of 2019, but God wasn't done with us yet. It was my turn for God to work on me.  God had to remove Bill from my reach, so that I would learn to trust Him.  It was a painful time, yet God blessed me with many friends that assured me that being Still and Trusting God were what I needed to focus on.  I thought Bill was lost to me for good.  Then the signs started coming in late March, then more in April.  Then our Anniversary day arrived.  God kept at me to message Bill.  I was afraid of upsetting him, but most of all, I was afraid of rejection and more pain.  I finally got out of bed, at the very end of the day on our anniversary.  I messaged Bill that although he was dating someone else, I couldn't let the day go by without acknowledging our anniversary. I shared that it would always be special to me, and I told him I missed him. I went to bed at peace, and turned it over to the Lord.   That message was answered the first thing the next morning at 6am with a single line text " Happy Anniversary--I miss you too".    So began our journey of healing, mending and focusing on how God very plainly showed us that His plan was for us to be together, but HIS way this time.  We have worked hard at restoring what was lost, putting God first be Still and Trusting in each step forward that we take.

October 11th, 2020--Savannah Georgia:

Bill got down on one knee, and instead of a glass slipper like Cinderella, he gave me my wedding set that I had lost (Kristin had it), It fit perfectly as he slipped it on my finger and asked me to marry him again   It was my fairy tale come true.  I had been looking in all the wrong places for all the wrong things.  My prince had been in front of me for 32 years, how foolish for me to lose sight of that.  How foolish of both of us to lose sight of what was important.  What God did put together, let no one pull apart.  He is the glue that binds us together.  He is the one that has worked in us both, blessed us both and will keep us focused, on Him first, and each other next.  We are praying that we may serve Him in some way to honor him for blessing us.  



 




Our Happily Ever After Day is December 12th, where we will recommit ourselves to each other in front of God and our kids.    We seek nothing more than prayers from our friends and family as we step out together in Faith, In Love and Until Death do us part. 




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